Specialized in comedy, those from Scoopertino this evening he presents us with a very "efficient" method by which Apple could save the American economy. It all boils down to changing the current banknotes used by Americans with others that have different colors and of course that show Steve Jobs. Apple says that Americans would be proud to take out of their pockets and spend such banknotes and of course they would be produced by the American company. The Foxconn factories in China would produce American currency, and the employees would be paid with AppleBucks.
What is the price of this change? Only 30% of all transactions made in the US, a percentage that Apple also takes from application developers. More is explained in the "press release" below.+
CUPERTINO, CA — To Apple, there is no problem good design can't fix. And that includes the US economy.
Speaking before the House Committee on Financial Services yesterday, Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled Apple's fix for our battered economy: flashy new currency designed to stimulate spending.
"Two hundred years of butt-ugly, monochrome currency is enough to drive any economy into the toilet," said Cook. "It's a miracle we lasted as long as we did."
The new currency, called AppleBucks, will change the way we look at money. Each denomination is easily recognized by its distinct color.
The image of Apple founder Steve Jobs will appear on every denomination, eliminating the current arbitrary sequence of dead presidents.
"It's really just an interface issue," said Cook. "People take comfort in consistency."
But how exactly will the new bills stimulate the economy?
"Apple-designed currency takes spending to a new level," said Cook. "For the first time, people will be proud to pull money out of their wallets."
Although the Apple plan has bipartisan support and appears poised for approval, some critics are suspicious of the terms.
"We just want to be fair," says Cook. "We're taking over printing and distribution, and in return we're only asking for 30% of every cash transaction in America. Same deal as the App Store.”
AppleBucks will be manufactured at Foxconn factories in China. By paying workers with money they're laboring to print themselves, Apple can pay higher wages without really spending anything.
AppleCare for AppleBucks is available for only $49/year. Owners may have their money ironed for free at the Genius Bar to keep it crisp, or exchange damaged bills for fresh currency. Money-laundering will be available via third parties.
